


Contortions

by themadlurker



Category: due South
Genre: Background Relationships, Dialogue-Only, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, Ficlet, Gen, Humor, Innuendo, M/M, Not What It Looks Like, Prompt Fic, Questionable Yoga Practices, Surprise Pairing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-01
Updated: 2009-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28128492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themadlurker/pseuds/themadlurker
Summary: "Tell me, Constable, do you feel that this is an appropriate use of the Consulate lobby?"
Relationships: Benton Fraser/Ray
Kudos: 1





	Contortions

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "dS, B. Fraser, M. Thatcher; the shape I found you in" (from [wintercreek](http://wintercreek.dreamwidth.org/)'s [Online Fannish Bachelorette Party](http://wintercreek.dreamwidth.org/620082.html))

"Constable, a word?"

"Ma'am."

"Tell me, Constable, do you feel that this is an appropriate use of the Consulate lobby?"

"Ah. No, ma'am."

"And you do realize that we're open to the public, and that _anyone_ could have walked in to find you and Constable Turnball in that... position?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"This place is going to be crowded with diplomats, tomorrow—"

"—you know, ma'am, despite the aphorism, I'm not sure I would characterize three diplomats as—"

"Fraser! This is not a time to argue semantics. I am attempting to point out to you that your indiscretion could potentially have caused the Canadian government a great deal of embarrassment."

"Yes, ma'am, and may I say that I accept full responsibility for the entire incident. Although, if I may opine on the matter, I believe our actions were not in fact a violation of the RCMP code of conduct, nor of the standards of acceptable behaviour in our host city. In fact, I believe you will find that RCMP regulations require members to engage in vigorous physical—"

"—don't quote the regulations at me, Fraser. I fail to see how this form of ... exertion ... is relevant to your duties at the Consulate."

"Well, ma'am, although not a _traditional_ form of yoga, it has been established to increase flexibility and muscle tone, in a way that should prove beneficial to the more physically active parts of our duties. Besides which, I believe it may assist in combating some of the negative side effects of the long periods of immobility that we are required to maintain."

"Perhaps, Constable, but that particular pretzel shape in which both you and Constable Turnball seemed to have become stuck..."

"Merely an indication that Constable Turnball may be better suited to a less intellectually rigorous method of fitness, ma'am."

"I see. No, wait. So, when I found you and Detective Vecchio intertwined last week..."

"Ah. No. I'm afraid that was simply a carnal embrace."

"Right. Well. Just, ah, just don't let it happen again. Here. In the lobby. In the Consulate. Isn't there somewhere else you can — no, please, forget I asked. _Dismissed_."

**Author's Note:**

> > 'Carnal embrace is the practice of throwing one's arms around a side of beef.' — Tom Stoppard
>
>> **Ray Vecchio:** Some people pass away in their sleep; others die while making love to a beautiful woman. I'm going to die wrapped in meat.


End file.
